third times the charm...

I know all of you have been wondering why it's been almost a WEEK since I've posted! IT'S NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING!!!

Monday I had a really bad day and wrote a really sad, garbled post that was so convoluted I decided it would not be understood and was way to personal. It was quite a cathartic experience to just write it down and I of course closed the window before I thought "wow, Emily, you might want to at least save that for you to read later!" Instead, it is gone forever. The basic gist was good though: I have recently forgotton to be good to myself which is probably why when other people tried to treat me very well, I got pissed off. I just wasn't used to being on that side of the "nurturing." It was more complicated than that but I think that's all I've got to write now.

Tuesday night I was feeling much better so I decided to write a nice post about the awesome Theology on Tap discussion we had at Sheil on Sunday night. We had a speaker talk on the topic of "When the Heart Speaks, Take Good Notes: Spirituality in Everyday Life." I had some major "aha!" moments and wrote all about them Tuesday night! Then I accidently hit some stupid shortcut key which "navigated" away from the page without saving, and thus I lost a REALLY long post, half of which was a rehash of the Monday post and the other about spirituality! So the rehash of that post is this: Spirituality is not much if you are selfish and won't let other people in on it. That's a nice colloquial way of putting it, I suppose. Joanne Cahoon, our speaker, quoted one of her Jesuit teachers as saying "we have the right to the Christ in one another's heart." Interesting way of putting it, I thought. How I interpret it is that through baptism, we are joined with all other baptized people in this great community which (in an ideal world/situation) revolves around spirituality and understanding. It is a responsibility of all the community members to share with others and it is a right for all community members to have that information shared with them! That is really not gramatically correct but it is the end of another 12-hour day and I can't put it more succinctly at the moment. I hope how I put it doesn't sound pompous or anything. Its just me trying to figure out what spirituality in everday life means

Which is something else that came up! I actually mentioned my block when discussing with my table because we got on the topic of sharing with others. We decided that in order to grow spiritually, you have to share your ideas with others, listen to their ideas, and then modify as needed. It's basically what I do with my blog. I love to get comments because I know someone else is listening and I also get something else to consider, many times! Even if no one reads this,however, it would still be helping me grow spiritually (as well as intellectually) because writing clarifies ideas in my mind. It is easier to listen to your heart when you..."take good notes..." I go back and read stuff I wrote earlier to try to figure out what I thought or felt about particular ideas and such. There is so much going on in my mind, as I'm sure you can relate to, that it just helps to put it on paper (or computer screen...) to get it out of the mind and make room for some other stuff. It's like defragging your harddrive!!!! I just figured that out!!! You write it down, consider what you wrote, and then put it back in your mind in a more organized fashion!!

In fact, I really could have just summed up the last two paragraphs by saying "share what you know, write down what you feel, and eventually you will be able to run smoother, just like a computer that just went through a defrag program."

Wow, the metaphors I've been coming up with the last couple days are CRAZY! I'll have to see what my CS friends think of my interpretation of defragging though..

So, I think I actually just rewrote the Tuesday post above. What a surprise. I meant to sum it up better but it's late and I like to write.

Here are some other things I wanted to write about (I was planning this post on the El ride home...):

1. I bought new shoes today. They are RED! I almost got the same style in black instead, since they would obviously compliment more outfits...but I decided to get the FUN color and I'm glad I did. I smiled everytime I looked down at my feet, and they made me feel special in a room full of opera/acting/dancing divas at rehearsal, which is a hard thing to do (notice the word "diva"...) In addition, an adorable little girl with pigtails on the El told me she really liked my shoes. I told her I really liked hers because of the little embroidered daisies on hers. This was after she asked her mom if it was okay to wave at me (Family people: "Ne-ver talk to strange---ers..." it's hard to write that "song" in text only...but I"m sure the four of you got it...hehehe). Oh yeah, and they are definately the most comfortable shoes I own now, other than by Birkenstocks, and they were WAY discounted. All things which make me happy...
2. At rehearsal tonight, I played the role of "Baron Zeta" and it was fun. I never did get my lines right but hey, it was a difficult song and I"m really not a baritone....I made people laugh though which is always delightful! They found my playing a middle-aged baritone character with a thick "Pontevedrian" accent quite funny...especially since I"m just a lowly ASM...
3. Carrots are great when you're thirsty.
4. I finally saw where I'm going to live next year! I love it! I can lie in bed, literally, and just watch the sunset out of my huge window! Yay! Plus I have a real kitchen and a great friend to live with!
5. I'm going to probably take Psych 110 instead of Arabic in the fall :-( Something had to go if I want to do drama therapy. And it had to be the one class I was not taking for one of my majors. I learn Arabic later! The FBI and CIA pay for you to take it if they recruit you. So I'll just do it then...
6. I'm in a good mood.
7. I think that because I'm already up to #7, I should think of a few more things for this long post.
8. Oh! I am way too attached to books. I had my sister and mom pack up some books to bring me. As my sister was reading me the titles of what she has for me (My complete Oscar Wilde book, Bel Canto, Frankenstein, etc...) I started salivating. Then I caught myself later justifying my failure to read HP6 yet with the fact that (and this is a direct quote from my thought process...) "It just wouldn't be fair to the other books I haven't finished yet if I neglected them for Harry Potter." Yeah. I stopped walking at that point and thought of how my mother is going to laugh at me for that one...
9. I'm going to World Market on Saturday to get a basket from my crocheting. I have yarn and crochet pieces for my brother and sister-in-law's wedding present all over the apartment and I think it is getting on my roommates nerves...
10. I miss my tamarins at the Lincoln Park Zoo...I think a visit there is in order. Very soon...

Wow, I commend and thank you for reading this far. Especially after the top ten of random thoughts in my head listed above.

AND I DIDN'T DELETE THIS POST TODAY! WOW!

Ciao, y'all. Talk to you soon!

Emily